To The Guy Who Never Told Me We Were Over
Sunday, 27 December 2015
So here I am, a whole year after the fiasco happened, and I am not the same because of you. And I know, oh I know, I deserve to be treated better. I know I deserve to be with someone who treats me as a priority instead of an option. I know I deserve someone who is clear about where I stand with him. I know I deserve someone who doesn’t blow me off on when I'm having panic attacks, but then texts me the next day asking for a cuddlefest. I know because I’ve been lucky in love before you, and I’ve never been treated this way before, even by the guys I have dated casually. I’ve never had a fling with a jerk, so thank you for being the first. Thank you giving me a new appreciation for the exceptional men I have dated before you.
Thank you for helping me realize how much more I am worth and that I cannot let my singular experience with you make me insecure. Thank you for prompting me to recognize how truly optimistic I am. Even after dating you, I will not be cynical about men and love, I refuse to let you taint my outlook on life.
Thank you for helping me realize what I truly want in love. I want a guy to look at me like Leonardo DiCaprio’s Gatsby looks at Carey Mulligan’s Daisy Buchanan; like Brad still looks at Angelina; like my papa looks at my mom. I need devotion and adoration, love and affection. But I think you love yourself too much to ever look at anyone that way, let alone me.
Thank you for compelling me to explore the depth and complexity of my humanity. Thank you for being the ultimate test of how much I truly live up to the standards of decency and gentility that I claim to uphold. Thanks to you, I have found so much inner strength by always being mannerly and kind to you, and showing you that I care – not only because I fell for you, but because you were a human being in my life. And I still have it in me to wish you all the happiness in the world, even though you couldn’t even give me the time of day to tell me it was over.
As I walk away from you, I will just keep reminding myself that people like you are the ones who are truly losing out. As for me, my conscience is clear.
Excerpt edited from here.
Monday, 10 November 2014
So yes I am back in this space because no matter how much I try to stay away, I can't. When I made the decision to start blogging using another link, it was mainly because I thought this space was too messy and contained so many little snippets of my past that 1. my new readers wouldn't be able to follow 2. wasn't very professional. So hey, that's why TCD was born and now that I have successfully migrated my readers to that site, I feel like this space can still be a place where I voice my more personal thoughts and emotions. Besides, those reading this space are the individuals that really matter to me anyway. So to hell with having a neat organized space, I never was a very organized person to begin with heh.
Won't promise frequent updates in this place because being the mystery that I am, I'll never know when I will be at a loss for words and when I will feel like I'm exploding with thoughts.x
Monday, 13 January 2014
That’s the problem with being strong - people think they can say or do anything to you and you’re gonna still be standing, sturdy like a rock. People think that you’re never going to be sad, people think that you’re never going need them to be there for you, people expect you to be there for them round the clock even though you have your own battles to fight. That’s the problem with being strong.
Sunday, 24 November 2013
Guilty as charged
Wednesday, 30 October 2013
It's terrible isn't it?
The way we throw people away.
Tuesday, 22 October 2013
Sunday, 20 October 2013
Every single day here, I am reminded that I have a million reasons to be thankful for <3 And one of the greatest reasons is my family. I'm thankful to have such amazing parents who are so supportive of my decisions and life choices. Even though me being away on this internship just brings more worry and stress into their lives, they still want the best for me and have given me their fullest blessing to go ahead. They tell me not to worry about the money and to enjoy my time here, but there is not a single day that goes by where I don't think about how my parent's hard-earned money is funding me here. All I can really say that I'm truly thankful for everything <3 I'm thankful for a dad who only wants the best for me and is ever so supportive in all that I do. I'm thankful for a mum who is so loving and caring that I can feel the warmth of her love even though I'm miles away from home. I'm thankful for a brother who cares a whole lot for me and is willing to show his love in his own special way. I'm honestly so overwhelmed at how blessed and loved I am.
I hope I do all of you proud with the time that I have here, I really do .x
♥ cheryllimsuwen, 29/11.
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For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.
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